Few days back my son and i had one of our rare lunches together. The days that i tried as much as possible to delay has arrived; of that him being a grown man with a life of his own and would be having his own family in the very near future (okay, yang, when is that happening?) That reminds me of the conversation i had with him when he was only 7 years old when he complained that i was spending all my time with the baby. I told him that "...i cannot be too close with you anymore because one day you are going to get married and you need to make your wife the closest person to you."
I have heard of so many stories of women complaining about their husbands' mother interfering in the running of their homes. Unfortunately husbands tend to think it is cute that their mothers are there "helping out" in the household. No, babe, no woman likes another woman in her turf unless that woman is the wife's mother. You don't make you mother your bestfriend, you make your WIFE your best friend because you need to invest in a team of people, and these little people need to know their mother is very important to you. Your job is to reassure your mother that she has raised you up to be someone her grandchildren would have good memories of when you are dead. Complicated? no! i think at the end of the day, for the sake of our descendents, we want to leave a history of us that they could be proud of. Like it or not, what we do today will affect our children and grandchildren.
Again, i am digressing. Seems that i tend to digress ... i think old age does that to me...there is a saying that old people talk to much.
Anyway, we had "nasi campur", sat at one table already occupied by a salt-and-pepper haired malay chap. We continued with our varied conversation. Then my son asked ... heck, i can't remember his exact question. But he said if he is rich then he will be happy. I said "don't use external factors to determine your happiness because you are going to end up very unhappy." Of course, when you are rich you will be able to be unhappy in comfort, better than suffering in discomfort. Then again, what is the objective of being rich? Because then travelling makes us happy, at least for awhile, and to travel you need money. Good food costs money; doesn't matter that it will come out as shit 4 hours after that. Extra money means being able to distribute it to others and that "giving" evoke good feelings in us. Getting that branded clothes tells others that i am "successful" because i have money and you don't and that means i am smarter than you...and so on and so forth.
Truth is, the only person who can make you happy is yourself. The only person who can fill your void is yourself and the only person whom you can permanently be in love with is yourself. Until you feel you are complete, you will always be on a quest to find something or someone to try to "complete" you and that is the formula to failure... to discontent ... to continue doing stuff you wouldn't want your grandchildren to know... ;))
...and oh....we were so engrossed in our conversation, we ended up paying for the stranger...why the heck did the waiter put his bill on our tab???
A Licensed Counsellor in the making...
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