alone again, naturally..

“At night, I open the window
and ask the moon to come
and press its face against mine.
Breathe into me.
Close the language-door
and open the love-window.
The moon won't use the door,
only the window.”  - rumi

Are there times in your life that you wish you are one with nature? Do you miss the river that no longer flows? or the fireflies that is no longer at your doorstep?

Iran - countdown 6 more days to go!

Yeahhhh... my final bucket list.

Costs  me only RM2500 for return flight to Tehran and my contact in Iran has informed me i need another RM1500 for accomodation and domestic flight for my soon-to-be awesome journey to Tehran, Esfahan and Yazd.

Met up with an Iranian just now and he gave some tips on what to  do there. Seems that the cost of livig is low; taxi from Tehran to Esfahan will costs me about RM30. I am not sure. I have forgotten but...


watch this space if you are interested in travelling  to Iran.
























The author has a double degree in BSc in Estate Management and BSc in Applied Social Science (Counselling). Now doing Masters n Counselling. Do write to me haslinahyacob@gmail.com if you need someone to talk to. or you can skype me. :)

of love, relationships and the in-betweens...

... love yourself enough, so that you will attract someone who will love you enough...

A dear friend is getting married for the fourth time. 

I remembered waiting for her at the cafetaria of the syariah court; watching the flicker of pain in her face as she came in after finalising her third divorce. That look stayed with me until now. As much as the divorce was inevitable; as much as the marriage was a farce due to his abusive and cheating behaviours, it could not lessen the heart wrenching pain of another failed relationship.

Someone whom i had known for 17 years, has gone through 5 marriages and numerous in-betweens. "Lina, i am lonely." A person who is contented with himself is never lonely. He enjoys his solitude. You have to accept that you were the constant in all these relationships and accept that their reaction towards you is a reflection of your action towards them.

Another said with pride she has had more than 20 relationships; it always begun with "he was there when i was down..." and ended up with "... i don't want to talk about it. he was a creep..."

It would be a lie, i am sure, that no matter how many relationships you have had, to say that your every break-up did not hurt. It tears into your self-esteem and questions your self-concept.

It is said that if we don't learn from the past, we can then predict our future. There are patterns in our life events and how those events turn out is entirely based on our choice. WE can chose to live crappily  or to strive to live a life of self-actualising.

But first.... to accept reality...WHO and WHAT are you? When you look into your soul, do you like what you see? If you were another person, would you want to live with you? Would you want to have a relationship with someone like you?

Because what you see of yourself, you will reflect it back to the world. And if you do not like yourself, you may end up hurting others....

...and if you give so little of yourself, how can you expect more from the other person?

write to me or skype me if you need someone to talk to.

The brain is archaic

Dearest children,
Just now ibu attended a friend's son's wedding. These are friends during my diploma years. I have been meeting up friends from highschool years and next week would be meeting friends from my first place of work. I realised the people i know from different stages of my life are so varied. This year, i may be the oldest person in my class and i realised how cool that is. What is amazing is that i am now learning about life span development; and i feel as if it is talking about me. 

According to erik erikson's stage model i am now in the 7th stage (40 - 65 years old); the stage of generativity vs stagnation. If i fail in this stage i will be consumed with despair in my next stage; which begins at the age of 65 onwards. That's the time when i will be reviewing my life and if i perceived that my life turn out to be what i wanted it to be, then i can die happy. Of course Erikson didn't say it in that way, but that's the gist i get. 

At this present stage, i should be "established in my careers, settle down within a relationship, begin our own families and develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture. We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations.If we fail stage, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care. "

....Then....

and now....Bff..

Except the first part, i do think i have covered all bases. I didn't get to run my own firm but i guess building that company with papa is probably about the same thing; although at the back of my mind, it is still not. Human nature; we are never thankful with what we have when what we have is probably better than what we hope for.

There are certain parts of our life which sometimes feels like certain things were not resolve. But the choice is still in our hands ... if the circle seems disconnected, just draw in the connection yourself.

 ok....i meant, circle of life..not circle of stupidity :D

oh..my topic said the brain is archaic. It means that the brain remembers stuff regardless of how long ago the incident had happened. We remember because those memories are associated with certain emotions. If it still hurts when you remember it, then you are not over it. Then do something to associate those memories to positive emotions instead...

13sept cusco-inca trail

Friday 13th September

Left Lima at 5.30pm on the 12th and reached cusco at 2pm 13th. Not ever going to do this journey as the roads snaked up and down the mountains. The bus only stopped once giving us the opportunity to stretch our legs and vomit.  Bad migraine. I puked the two yogurts i had for breakfast. We didnt eat a proper breakfast and had no lunch. Oh... there was alot of farting going on between the two us. Luckily they weren't the stinky type.

The first impression i had of cusco of a sprawling old city. Interesting to see young children playing so near the cliff.

Had to scrape our plan of going to Lake Titicaca by bus; too strenous. Taking a flight back to Lima then shooting off to Santiago on same day. It was cheaper to buy return tickets than one way.

Love listening to the fast pace latin music.

On the way back to hotel took some pictures of a demonstration although i have no idea what it was for.

Starving but only managed to eat half of the chicken burger. Have to wake up at 3am to go to Machu Pichu.

14th september 2013.

At 4am a cab dropped us at the bus station and by 6 am we were at the Inca Rail.

At 7.30am there was no guide waiting fr us. We were instructed to take any bus to MP. Had to sit at the back crushed by a stodgy man.

Climbed up MP. Amazing view. Across where i was, could see ppl climbing up a mountain.

We chatted with Leo, a political science student from israel. Had a very interesting conversation about religion and politics. He was plesantly surprise to know we are aware of what is happening in his country. We offered our hospitality if he decides to visit Malaysia one day.

Spoke to a polite inca man manning the entrance to the bridge that leads to nowhere. He told me MP was abandoned because the spaniards (put his hand across his neck) the incas.

3pm took train back to cusco but felt uncomfortable was made to sit face to face with another couple. The lady looked so exhausted.

escapism as usual

i have nothing to write. MOre like an escapism in not doing what i should be doing. my grandson makes me happy so i am putting up my favourite video of him.

ok, get back to work, sweetheart.